Sw Anand Crystalhenge

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There were so many interesting people around in that ashram while Osho was still "in his body".
My Sannyas letter (in the next image down below), along with a mala and a wonderful hug was given to me by a man that used to walk through Osho's ashram with a walking stick to support a supposedly bad leg.
We both happened to be in the Buddha hall one evening when there was some really ecstatic music being played.
The lights were mostly out except those around the hall and near the musicians.
He was close by me.
Even though this dancing was done almost completely for myself, while I was there or rather... perhaps, not there... every once in a while there was a tendency to come back down to earth and open my eyes to remember that there were others around me.
There were people between me and him and they seemed to be huddled around him, as if they were trying to build a protective wall around him and obstruct everyone's view of him, but since they were dancing too, they were in motion and I caught some glimpses of him whenever there was an "opening" there.
There he was, dancing in the twilight, with no cane and even though it was rather dark, my eyes saw that every once in a while not one of his feet were on the ground while he danced.
He was really in the air.
There used to always be this unbelieving mind that was telling me that this can't be and after the experience, it was still telling me that I certainly must have imagined it, but the eyes and the heart told me differently and I now know that this upliftedness that I felt that evening came directly from him.
Whenever he noticed that he was being watched by someone, he would stop and abruptly pick up that cane and pretend as if he was an old man attempting to dance with a cane.
But when he noticed that he couldn't fool me, he would give up and go back to dancing.
He never fooled me.
That was definitely no old man and he definitely didn't need that cane, because more than once, I walked around a corner and saw him walking rapidly without using it.
That was unfortunately the last time that I saw him.
His name was Anand Maitreya.
Another individual that was really awesome was Sadar Gurudayal Singh...
When someone asked me to go to the back gate to take the next shift for gate-guarding, there was Sadariji, sound asleep, snoring like a freight train.
When I decided to wake him up, I said to him, "You should be guarding Osho's life!".
He looked at me and said, "Are you kidding me? Osho should be guarding mine!".
Another amusing experience happened when working in one of the small kiosk type stands.
We sold all kinds of small things a person would need around the ashram.
Swami Devapath, Osho's doctor came to the stand and first bought chocolate.
He later came back and bought some flowers.
After that he came by again and bought band-aids.
The next thing he bought was condomes... and that was the first time I saw his beautiful girlfriend.
And he was walking around without a shirt with scratches on his back, which a girlfriend who was working with me at the time (Ma Prem Vasumaya) showed me and we had a really good laugh.
Well... the entertainment stops here, so stop reading if you want amusement.
If you've read down this far, you might as well go all the way. That's what I did.
It wasn't with Osho that I did the work, it was long after that when I met a man called Rudra.
Someone told me that he was given that name by Somendra (Michael Barnett).
This was a terribly great German Zen master and I suffered until my suffering came to a complete exhaustion and then something went click.
Rudra was aware that the methods he used would make him a "wanted criminal" in the eyes of some of those that didn't understand his work.
Teaching people to follow their inner master and do things out of their intuition that could sometimes be completely crazy, beyond the mind, is very dangerous and there are always people that try to blame the master if something goes wrong, saying that "he told me to do it".
Yes, it's the master that tells you what to do, but it is your own master inside that tells you whether that's right for you.
Sometimes a master will tell you to do the opposite of what your feelings tell you to do, in order to strengthen that feeling, so that you finally feel that inner master and know what direction he / she wants to take you.
We did body-work, bioenergetical in nature ala 'Stanislav Grof' and Paul Lowe (Dhyanananda).
Rudra later called himself Bodhidharma and gave one of his own disciples the name Rudra and thereafter, as far as I know, he also gave someone else the name Bodhidharma, which made it nicely confusing for anyone trying to follow his tracks by searching for his name.
He founded a company that people could call a spin-off of the Wild Goose Company, called the Wild Dragon Company, but it wasn't anything as "airy-fairy" or spaced-out as Somendra's creation.
Anyone that came there with a hobby-sannyasin attitude was immediately thrown out and sent home.
At times, Rudra's teaching was nazi-style, as if his people were being held in a concentration camp and forced to do the spiritual work.
The whole point about that was that the ego had to understand that once you made the decision to go beyond the mind, that there could no longer be any option of fleeing, because once the doctor starts operating, you can't just jump off the table and go home with those wounds.
Considering how many inner wounds he opened, it was a really bloody battle.
What everyone knew was, that they could actually leave at any time, but if they did, they'd miss it and might never get a chance at kindling their fire, their Kundalini, ever again, unless some other life just happened to bring another master to them, which could practically take forever.
There was a point where everyone, absolutely everyone wanted to get up and run away from it all.
It was like being in the middle of your worst nightmare and never knowing if it would ever stop.
We all knew that if we were in the middle of a process that brought some unconscious demon up, that we couldn't handle, that we were going to be responsible for the outcome unless we stayed with the group and fought it together.
At one point, Rudra kept talking about the Sufi story of Mojud and Khidr, the inner master (a Sufi story also mentioned in the Qmran), that everyone wanted Khidr to come into their lives.
Rudra explained how a lot of hobby-sannyasins search for enlightenment and think it's something that lightens their burdens.
It certainly doesn't. Quite on the contrary, you become more responsible for others and take an extra load of burdens whenever you decide to wake up.
He taught us that the only way to find Khidr was to go through the darkness, to face that evil, destructive, ugly, manipulating animal within each of us and to be conscious of the patterns of those things that are motivating our daily lives and that was the real WORK.
It was brutal and seemed never-ending.
The ego was assassinated in every sense of the word.
We went to normal jobs, just like everyone else did in their daily lives, but we would thereafter come to our commune house and do heavy encounter work and Kundalini awakening techniques until the early morning hours.
We also knew that for each of us, this process takes as long as it takes for each individual, which could be just weeks, but also months, years, or even lives.
After what seemed like ages in this "hotel nirvana", it dawned upon me that everyone in his group was running after Khidr, just like Sannyasins were running after enlightenment.
At that point, all effort in trying to be someone else, other than who this being might be, and all attempts to attain anything ceased.
I mentioned this at my last Rudra encounter and he threw me out like a fruit that had just gotten too ripe.
There are still some of his disciples that look up to him as someone better than them and worship him like a cult idol talking about Kundalini all the time, as if people that didn't try to kindle their Kundalini were inferior beings.
Seeing that they were still stuck in this concept often kept me from attempting to talk to those kind of people, the ones that knew to much, because everyone has to become aware of that on their own.
Sannyasins that only praise and worship Osho are of the same caliber, even though he is still the greatest living mystic master that ever existed.
The following picture is one of Rudra's flyers.
He was a really horribly endarkening master.
Admitted, Rudra's English wasn't all to great at that time, but it sufficed to get the job done and he wanted to learn it better.
If you are a hobby- sannyasin that wants to get enlightened, and stay blissed off of his / her face and float around on cloud nine, never go to someone like him.
He will rip your head off!
And if you think enlightenment is a game, better to stay away from it.
The real secret to getting enlightened is that you have to get endarkened first.
Enlightenment is a physical process and your body won't be able to handle it if you don't do some really extreme work first.
You really have to be willing to face your deepest fears and do things that you thought that you would never do.
You have to expose yourself to everyone and show people openly, how manipulating and cunning you are.
Your emotional body armor has to be beaten until you break down and become totally helpless and that can take a hell of a long time and extreme effort.
You have to be very willing to be humiliated in every sense of the word, do work until your mind and body is completely exhausted in its every fiber.
That can mean working for weeks on end, day and night, sometimes deprived of sleep and all right to personal privacy must sometimes be taken away.
Yes, it is like a cult, but instead of brainwashing people and adding a new program, as a cult would do, the brain is just washed and then everyone is left in that state... in a tabla rasa... and then you are given the opportunity to create your own program or just let existence take you wherever it's going to take you when you are a hollow bamboo, when there is no longer any program clouding your mind.
And unlike a cult, you are let go once you have become an adult and have become responsible for your life.
When we finished the program, nobody was left, because Rudra was great at endarkenment and a real Shiva, thank you.
The sannyasin in me turned inside out and was blown out of the water like a sitting duck.
Now there isn't a sannyasin here anymore, at the most... just the 'sannyas' and a lot of love and gratefulness for having been given this opportunity.
Comment by Aradina (One of Somendra's former students) who forwarded the above notes:
Swami Anand Crystalhenge was given a new name "Kaio", by Rudra, but later called him "Kajo" because there was another "Kaio" in the same group.
He never gave up his sannyas name.
He survived the Tsunami in Sri Lanka and a massive hurricane while in America and has given me the right to publish this article.
I just remembered him telling me what he was doing before he got initiated by Anand Maitreya.
He had been hanging around Osho's people in Pune, always silently just doing service without ever getting initiated.
One day he was asked why he didn't want to be initiated.
He said that he had already written to Bhagwan that he felt sannyas was just becoming a club for sheep with a mala and red robe and that to become sannyasin you would have to give up your individuality.
Word of this got to Osho and one week later, his sannyasins were instructed to no longer wear the red robes unless they wanted to.
Maneesha told him to go and do the Dynamic meditation technique for 2 weeks and that he could then become a sannyasin.
Two weeks later they asked him if he did the Dynamic and he said, "No, I didn't feel like doing it". Another ma then told him he would have to do Kundalini for 2 weeks and the same thing happened.
After the third time, when they had told him to do Nadabrahma they asked him, "Don't you ever want to become a sannyasin?", at which point he answered, "I already feel like a sannyasin, so it doesn't really matter to me if you physically initiate me or not".
That's when he was asked to come to be initiated by Maitreya on the same day.

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