Talk:Ma Prem Nirvano

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Temporary
quote of Sheela 2012, this will probably be deleted, because unrelieable. --Sugit (talk) 18:18, 14 August 2022 (UTC)


Sheela 2012

Ma Anand Sheela, Osho's powerful secretary who oversaw the rise and fall of the Ranch, writes in Don't Kill Him! about difficulties between Osho and Vivek.

Warning: questionable source The truth of these statements can not be determined by this Wiki, because Sheela has been cought lying several times, and she has been convicted of very serious crimes, including attempted murder, and as --additionally-- relieable sources have told of her poisoning and murder attempts at Nirvano. Nonetheless, there may be facts in her story that other sources have not told.
page 251 -- 254
One day a once-in-a-century rain occurred simultaneouslywith snowmelt, and the dam broke. The water crashed down ata monstrous speed. Bhagwan’s house was beautifully located,but this beauty had its price. Now, because of the broken dam,He was cut off from us and from civilization. Bad weatherdoes not spare anyone, not even an enlightened one.
Incidentally, that day, Bhagwan was in a bad mood. Vivek,who took care of His personal needs and behaved as if shewere married to Him, had been arguing with Him about His love affair with other women. She was extremely jealous of allt he other women who approached Him. In her mad jealousy,she often tried to even blackmail Him. She would yell and threaten to leave Him and then destroy Him by telling theworld about the truth of their relationship. I found the kindof truth that she had in mind not so damaging. Many women go through such a phase in their lives.
Vivek lived with Him as His wife. They had sexual contact. He insisted that she always use contraceptives. He had made it clear that He did not want any children. He did not believe in either marriage or in raising children.
One day, back in 1978, when we were still in Poona, she wanted to teach Him a lesson because for a long time He had not shown any interest in her. She had sex with Him without using contraceptives and became pregnant. This was a very scandalous situation in India, especially for a holy man like Bhagwan. His followers had often claimed that He was a celibate. That is expected of saints, particularly in India.
Fortunately, one of His dedicated Sannyasins was aprominent gynaecologist in Poona. He also owned a private clinic for women. With his help, Vivek’s pregnancy problem was solved quickly. She had an abortion, and then sterilization.This was no big deal. This doctor regularly performed abortions for Sannyasins and the women of Poona. Birth control was promoted and abortions were legal under the government of Indira Gandhi to address the problem of overpopulation.
Laxmi very quickly organized an abortion and sterilization date for Vivek. I was in her room when she called the doctor.The event was being completely hushed up. Only Bhagwan, Dr Saraswati (the gynaecologist), Laxmi, and I knew what wasreally going on. Everyone in the Lao-Tsu House was walking as on egg shells. They had just been told that Vivek was not well. Laxmi asked me to look serious when visiting Vivek in her room. Laxmi was quite worried because of this matter and felt it could be risky to trust just anyone. But she trusted me in such situations.
So, Vivek had used her womb as a weapon against Bhagwan. He decided that He had had enough of her. Shortly thereafter, He threw her out from His bedroom and had no sexual contact with her anymore. Bhagwan asked her to get a boyfriend with whom she could play such manipulative games which she was so fond of.
Vivek still constantly kept nagging. He would often complain to me about her behaviour. Once He even tried to send her back to England after promising to provide her witheverything she would need to live comfortably there. But He was not lucky. After four days she came back from England, weeping.
Vivek had never liked the ranch in Oregon. She in fact did not like most things in life. In Oregon, she did not get as much attention from Him as before and was bored. To be content was not in her make up. Being happy would not have allowed her the control over Bhagwan that she desired so much. So she preferred to be suicidal.
On this stormy and rainy day, Bhagwan had not only had a dispute with Vivek, He also had toothache.
(...)
I landed at Bhagwan’s house in the middle of a domesticdispute between Vivek and Him. He told me He really had had enough of her. He said that Vivek irritated and tormented Him and that He had a toothache and wanted to drive His Rolls-Royce. He requested me to manage to get rid of the woman. “Buy her a ticket to England and ensure that she leaves immediately. I cannot tolerate her presence for one more second.” I said I would do my best. When I returned to my house in the afternoon, I found a message from Him. Vivek had apologized and He wanted to give her another chance.
p. 36 -- 38
on the use of medication by Vivek and suicide attempts
Then I looked at Vivek’s medical files. Vivek lived in Bhagwan’s house. She received a morphine preparation as a sleeping aid and for migraine, and, for no apparent reason, larger quantities of sodium pentothal, a narcotic which is usually used only in surgical operations. When I insisted on explanations, Devaraj told me that she needed it to deal better with the separation from her mother.
(...)
All these facts posed a great danger for both Bhagwan and the commune. If we had such doctors, we did not need any other enemies. I tried everything in my power to make Devaraj understand the far-reaching legal implications that could arise if someone were to find out about the drug abuse. He proposed to burn the record cards. The three of us—Savita, Madhunad, and I—shook our heads in disbelief. It was a nightmare, and it seemed likely to worsen in its course. As if we did not already have enough legal and social problems!
In addition to all this, I also found out later through Madhunad and Durga that Bhagwan also ingested laughing gas for two hours every morning and afternoon. Naturally, they were disturbed by the large amounts of nitrous oxide ordered. Such excessive orders immediately resulted in investigations of our pharmacy by the FDA (Food and Drug Administration) and FBN (Federal Bureau of Narcotics). Again there were no reasonable answers. I was only told that the nitrous oxide was for Bhagwan. If something was for Bhagwan, nobody was allowed to question it—this was the attitude of the people in His house. All of them thought they were very special. I thought all of them were very stupid.
When I tried to talk to Bhagwan about these medical distortions, he responded indifferendy. He offered me no assistance. He told me to inform Devaraj of all medical pros and cons of the drugs and to find a solution for the legal situation. He did not want to be bothered with such issues. He also told me, “Seela, you take care that these people with the sniff dogs do not check John, because he brings the ecstasy for Vivek. Ecstasy is a new drug. It makes Vivek happy and keeps her quiet... Then she troubles me less .. .John says that it is not dangerous, and he is a doctor . . . Do not worry ... I will take responsibility if something happens . . .”
I tried to argue with Him; in vain! I tried to convince Him that He did not fully see the extent of the legal ramifications. He brushed all my arguments with: "You just follow my instructions"
Such a reply from Him was not normal. I saw a direct threat to the existence of our commune in it. Until now He had always supported me when I had concerns or problems, but now He had suddenly become indifferent. This was new. I could not accept it. This indifference was a sign that His interest in the commune had seriously diminished.
Of course I did not do what Bhagwan wanted me to do. Obeying Him in the ecstasy-matter would have been against His direct orders to me to protect His teachings and His commune. I was frank and honest to Him. I told Him with difficulty that I could not pass on these instructions to the guards with the sniff dogs. He did not insist and dropped it. In addition to these serious matters, there were many other small events as well that contributed to my distress and disillusionment. I no longer wanted to participate in the game. I wanted to uphold my integrity and not compromise just to be able to continue that lifestyle. In the past I had heard of Vivek’s many suicide attempts using sleeping pills. Even at those times I had always inquired how she’d got access to so many drugs even though two doctors and a dentist lived in the Lao-Tzu House. When I tried to put a stop to it, Bhagwan’s explanation was that she had already faked suicide several times even before He’d met her. Then He tried to calm me by saying, “People who make fake attempts at suicide never really kill themselves. They are cowards. They use the suicide threat as blackmail.” In the past these statements would silence me, but now I had had enough.
I was ready to neither commit suicide nor witness one. I wanted to go away. My parents felt the same way Continuing to live and work in Rajneeshpuram could have been fatal for me. I wanted to leave. I wanted to go somewhere where I could be alone and think about my life. I wanted to go on with my life, apply what I had learned from this man whom I loved so much. Bhagwan’s reply to my letter contributed to my decision. He apparendy had been unable to guess how strong my feelings were. He had not seen the extent of my dissatisfaction. He almost took me for granted. He thought it would be most difficult for me to forsake the fame and power I had been enjoying for years. He did not know that fame and power meant nothing to me. I was with Him only because I loved Him, and I did not want this love to become my weakness now. I had lived with Him because we had been a good team. But now the team spirit was broken.