Testimonial letter from Ma Nirdosh Sahajo
This letter is one of a remarkable series of over 2650 letters amassed in 1983 to support Osho's attempt to get permanent resident status in the US at the time of the Oregon ranch. The image is reproduced here with the kind permission of The Oregon Historical Society. Information about their collection of these letters and other supporting material -- the "Jeffrey Noles Rajneesh Collection", named for Osho's immigration lawyer Jeffrey Noles, who compiled them in 1983 and donated them to the OHS -- can be found at this page. The wiki is grateful to the OHS for making access available for these documents. For more information and links to all the letters, see Testimonial letters.
This letter is from Ma Nirdosh Sahajo. It is "Exhibit A-2571" in the Noles collection.
The text version below has been created by optical character recognition (OCR), from the images supplied by OHS. It has not been checked for errors but this process usually results in over 99% correct transcription. Most apparent "errors" are correct transcriptions of typos already in the original. The image on the right in the text box links to a pdf file of the original letter, it has one page.
 Ma Nirdosh Sahajo To whom it may concern : I am twenty-four years old and I am living in an Italian sannyas commune. My first contact with Bhagwan was in spring 1981 and since that time my life has changed immensely. I had been an unhappy depressed student. For about three months in winter 1980/81 I hardly got up from bed trying to escape from myself and from the world by steeping and dreaming. I had no contact to friends anymore and I was afraid to end up in a psychiatric hospital. A friend of mine did a group in the sannyas ashram. I went with her, fault of fear not knowing what would happen to me. When the group was finished my depression, my desperation, whatsoever kept me off from living, was gone. I never wanted to die before, but since then I have been happy to be alive, happy to experience life from all its various aspects. My attitude towards life has changed completely, fear and desperation are no longer determining but joy, courage, gratefulness and a deep acceptance of whatsoever the universe sends to me. Slowly, I can allow myself to feel with my heart instead of rationalizing with my mind. There is no need anymore to suppress my feelings, because besides this emotional opening I become more and more able to stay quiet inside to find my inner core, I watch myself growing by staying alone and relating to people often embarassed by the intensity of life. Recently I have been in Rajneeshpuram for three months. I have never felt so happy, so relaxed, full of trust. The loving, clear atmosphere encouraged me to drop doubts and fears, past and future, habits and patterns were gone. To be in silent communication with Bhagwan during the satsangs - it is beyond words what is happening. Back here to our commune I slowly realize how intense this time close to my Master was. I cannot explain what he is doing but I can see clearly in myself and all the sannyasins around me that a deep inner change is happening. [signed] |
(Please note: We assume that the above letter is still copyrighted, but we regard its historical interest to constitute a Fair Use exception for publication in this wiki.)
