Testimonial letter from Ma Prem Mallika
This letter is one of a remarkable series of over 2650 letters amassed in 1983 to support Osho's attempt to get permanent resident status in the US at the time of the Oregon ranch. The image is reproduced here with the kind permission of The Oregon Historical Society. Information about their collection of these letters and other supporting material -- the "Jeffrey Noles Rajneesh Collection", named for Osho's immigration lawyer Jeffrey Noles, who compiled them in 1983 and donated them to the OHS -- can be found at this page. The wiki is grateful to the OHS for making access available for these documents. For more information and links to all the letters, see Testimonial letters.
This letter is from Ma Prem Mallika. It is "Exhibit A-2018" in the Noles collection.
The text version below has been created by optical character recognition (OCR), from the images supplied by OHS. It has not been checked for errors but this process usually results in over 99% correct transcription. Most apparent "errors" are correct transcriptions of typos already in the original. The image on the right in the text box links to a pdf file of the original letter, it has 3 pages.
 P.O. Box 10, TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh has everything to do with my sitting down and writing this letter. My purpose is to share with you the impact He has made in my life. I am now living in Rajneeshpuram with a Master; a being far surpassing any therapeutic system I have ever encountered. The energy He is creates an oasis. I worked my way up from a Secretary in Chicago, Illinois to a sales representative in ladies lingerie and undergarments on the West Coast. My accounts in California included departmen stores such as Bullocks, Broadway, May Co. and Robinson along with several trips selling garments in Arizona, New Mexico and Hawaii. During this time I set up advertising promotions throughout the abovementioned stores with very successful results to both myself and the stores operations. Both my income and the stores’ sales increased tremendously and many other people followed my lead. My life was quite empty outside of work. My personal relationships outside of work didn’t work; I was either silent in the presence of people or loud and blatant, a direct result of being anxious, nervous and frustrated with life. I entered therapy which I continued for many years. At that point therapy kept me going although sometimes it felt as if it was only doing that. I felt more and more separate with the world around me to a point that I was not working, and lived very much alone for a time. When I was able to cope a bit more I began working with my therapist and between us we devised a system of matching patients with therapists based on both their backgrounds. It was rewarding in many ways. My education continued in an experiential way and I learned about many of the therapeutic systems available. As I also interviewed the therapists (as well as the patients) I found many people playing therapists were in this role to hide their own neuroses. I also found that many had not really touched the core of their own beings and led very unhappy and unsatisfied lives. It happened many times upon interviewing them and dealing with them on a regular basis that I saw their lives were just as empty as everyone else and I felt there was no hope for a full life for anyone. My own therapy continued (I was doing a lot of body work) and my depression and anger about life deepened. Continuing to express this in my sessions I reached a point of nothingness; just laying on a cot listening to silence, feeling soft and vulnerable, feeling there is something more. Expressing this to my therapist who I came to love over the years, he sat dorment telling me not to become what he called mystical; that that was not the way, and so on. After this I worked only to make enough earnings to live on and spent much time alone. I felt assured there was something much more to life; what I didn’t know; however, I felt much more satisfied. My friendships increased, people were very attracted to me and eventually I entered the world with a very new and alive feeling. I found a job that kept me occupied 6 to 7 days a week, still felt a bit empty and missing something, and it seems as if I was standing still waiting for something. I was at a friend’s house one night, picked up a book by Bhagwan (unknowingly to me) and opened it to a page and read about dying; dying to every moment; living totally -as a flower blooms fully then dies and falls to the earth for a new life. Something connected, I don’t know what and still don’t. I bought this book - And The Flowers Showered, and read it in one night. Went back to the bookstore to buy several more written by Bhagwan. Me, who was pretty fed up with religions, life, systems, had not read a book, magazine or newspaper in nearly 9 or 10 years. On my second trip to the bookstore I met a sannyasin and asked him many many questions. I knew this Man, whoever Bhagwan was, was something all of me was looking for. The first time I heard His voice and saw His face the silence fell upon me once again. I could not listen to the very words He was speaking yet His voice was so near to me. Never had I ever experienced someone so loving and open to my being and I hadn’t even met Him. My visit to Utsava Rajneesh Meditation Center was filled with people I felt I had known all my life. My reading and listening to Bhagwan continued every day from that time on. My work was filled with love I had not experienced up til then. At Utsava during celebration times we would sit in silence (the same time Bhagwan would sit in celebration time at Rajneeshpuram) and feel His presence and love. The work he does within our daily worship at Rajneeshpuram is phenomenal. Within every temple opportunities are continually provided to grow; to live life totally. There has never been, for me, a space where acceptance and love is the basis of everything happening. My life has never been richer. There is no one system in operation here. The individuals here provide their own intelligence and love to everything being done. As a direct result of allowing Bhagwan into our hearts and accepting His love this city flourishes. Under His spiritual guidance I have not only become closer to myself, I also have the courage to express that which I am. His written and taped words are a guide when times are hard for me but the real work He is doing comes from inside. His silence, His very presence, is the message. Being with Him as He drives by me daily, gives me always a glimpse of what life is in its totality. Sitting in His silence during our celebration time is like drinking from a well of fresh spring water; it is a deep cleansing. My heart opens sometimes softly and sometimes with a burst to be expressed in a beautiful dance for Him; and always with more love, acceptance and understanding of everyone. It is hardest for me to communicate what Bhagwan has done for me. It can only be seen and felt in my very being, in all sannyasins, in the land of Rajneeshpuram and anywhere He may be. I do not feel it is my work to convert you or anyone and I feel strongly about anyone who wants to tell me what is not good or right in my life style. Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh is an exceptional being. He is devoting His life to anyone who hears Him. His work is much more than any scientist or teacher of life. He is simply life; a consciousness that far surpasses anyone alive today. I have heard many comments regarding the length of time we work here each day, and upon talking with people who come to visit Rajneeshpuram and dealing with them by way of the boutique or lounge, they have always expressed astonishment of how happy we live here and how peaceful and loving our environment is. Their comments to me are varied but contain always how much fun they feel we have. And that’s it! It is fun when an atmosphere of love is provided and that atmosphere is Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh. Most sincerely, |
(Please note: We assume that the above letter is still copyrighted, but we regard its historical interest to constitute a Fair Use exception for publication in this wiki.)
